nowhere

Lynn Colbert Kandrac currently lives in Westchester County, New York with her husband and is the adopted mother of two 4-legged humans disguised as cats. With over three decades as an Educator under her belt, Lynn recognizes that we are all lifelong learners—provided that we choose to be so.

He’s a real Nowhere Man, sitting in his nowhere land, making all his nowhere plans for nobody…[1]

Whether used as an adverb, adjective, or noun, nowhere is a word that we’ve been conditioned to understand and use as a negative. 

 “He was nowhere to be seen.”  “She moved to a nowhere town.”  “That comment came out of nowhere.” 

Nowhere is non-existent. And if it’s non-existent it must be meaningless and without consequence. Right?

I say wrong. In fact, I will go so far as to say the concept of nowhere is ripe with meaning and consequences.  Maybe John Lennon and Paul McCartney understood that when they wrote the lyrics to this classic song. 

Perplexed? Read on.

Doesn’t have a point of view, knows not where he’s going to, isn’t he a bit like you and me?

The Nowhere Man has been no stranger to me.  Even now, in my advancing years, I sometimes struggle with where I am in my life.  On the surface, I am a successful professional woman with a world class husband, a roof over my head, a loving family, and more true friends than one would ever hope to be blessed. Yet, every now and then I lose perspective; falling into a deep vortex of self-doubt and frustration. Discontented and disconnected. Shaking a fist at the universe in anger that my life and my place within it is not turning out as I had envisioned.

It has been said that somewhere in the back of each of our minds is a recording on continuous loop. I picture an old timey cassette tape.  The tape is filled with every memory–negative or positive. Some of these memories come often, some are deeply buried.  For me, the negative memories seem to be the ones that I most often recall.  I’ve concluded that those negative memories have most informed the way my mind works, especially when I am on the edge of the vortex.  Moments when I felt diminished, bullied, vulnerable,  as well as the hurtful words attached to some of those memories. Those experiences had unknowingly taken hold and became inner truth. 

But here’s the good news. Tapes can be erased and a new recording can be made in its place.  The question is how.  Read on.

Nowhere Man, please listen, you don’t know what you’re missing. Nowhere Man, the world is at your command…

A long time ago, I heard a mentor of mine say something that stays with me still.  It’s a powerful example of how words can make a positive impact on the way one can choose to let their mind and actions work. 

When you want to play the victim, you will choose to think you are going nowhere. 

When you want to do something to make your life better, you will see that  

                         “nowhere” can also be read as “now here”.

Now Here. In an instant, one word and the way I can choose to see it became a tool with which I have the power to control every next step. Every next thought. Every next word.  Turns out that when I am feeling like I am nowhere I can go anywhere.

Now Here has become a guiding principle as I continue to tape over the recording in my mind that has held me down in the past and truthfully still seeps through.  It’s a concept that reminds me to stop looking around me. Worry less about what others think, how I can keep up with the Joneses, or how highly I am regarded.  Doing less of that just might keep me at a further distance from the vortex. If I can just hit pause on that cassette tape long enough to assess my here and now, the resources and personal strengths I have, and most importantly, what my next choice will be.  The beauty  lies in the opportunities the present provides and the choices it offers.

Have I mastered the concept of now here? A resounding no.  Is it easier to crawl under the familiar and safe shroud of nowhere? You bet.  But here’s the thing: with every passing moment of every day there’s a choice to be made. Sometimes we are just not in a good place and need to be like Scarlett O’Hara and “think about it tomorrow”.  Hey, that’s ok. There’s no deadline for changing your life in any small or large way.  Changing patterns of thinking and being is hard work; with lots of bumps to take along the way. It takes energy and unwavering self-love. One must be ready and willing to confront it.  If you don’t choose to be now here at a particular point in time, remember that the door is always open. When you are at your lowest, there is always a choice to move higher.  Know that you’re worthy to go nowhere; the place in which you can say “I am now here”.

Nowhere isn’t a compound word but I’ve come to see it that way. The Now Here is incredibly powerful and promising when I choose to go there.

I invite you to do the same. 

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[1] “Nowhere Man”, music and lyrics by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Main Photo by Andrew Wolff on Unsplash

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